Everyone's always trying to sort of "find themselves". That mission I've resigned from for a while already. For the longest time, I've sensed that I could never be just this one personality. Is it even possible? Can one person just be one person all throughout?
I feel like I'm not alone in this, but I also strongly feel people haven't realized this yet. Growing up, I believed I could always be one of the girls and also one of the guys. But now it's more than just that. I feel like one could be like a chameleon somehow, blending in in different environments, nothing wrong with that. If I put it this way, if you read it this way it sounds all right, almost unworthy of judgement. But then if I give you real examples, it's not that okay anymore (say blending in with a group of strong drinkers).
I feel like I can blend in contrasting groups. I could be with a group that studies late at night and a group that drinks every night. I could complain about hating heels with one group and shopping away with another. I've always felt that I had an advantage, not having one personality. I could be very reserved and very liberated at the same time. But sometimes I feel like people don't understand it. I feel judgemental eyes on me sometimes, and I'm not quite sure how to react to it. Or even what to do about it. Do I even do something about it? I get that you can't please everybody you meet, but if it's your friends it's a different story, isn't it?
People have different personalities. I probably have.. 8 different ones. Some have met them all, others have met a few only. God knows how they'd respond if they knew who I could be when placed in a certain environment. I don't quite 'find' myself, I mostly just discover who I could be. The way I act or react in certain environments could be different, but not necessarily fake. Maybe I'm a chameleon in my own way.
So my question now is.. how many is considered too many? And are you like me or have you found yourself?
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